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Post by Greg C. on Oct 19, 2007 21:14:52 GMT -5
We got our marking period project for english class....an epic poem that has to be atleast 2-4 pages. The requirements are a protagonist, antagonist, in medias res, graphic battle, magic weapon, flashback sequence, monsters, and 2 other things cant think of off hand. So what better subject then the alamo can i write about? this is something i can write 4 pages about in my sleep. i started working on it today and it is do in a week or two. she already complemented me on the idea becuase she loves a historical background.
Protagonist: David Crockett Antagonist: Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna Graphic Warfare: The final battle Flashback: Crockett reminiscing of his younger days In Medias Res (heroic event in the past): Bowie's sandbar fight "Monsters": Mexican soldados "Magic" weapon: Crockett's rifle that never misses
What ya'll think?
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Post by neferetus on Oct 19, 2007 22:26:23 GMT -5
Your "Monsters" should be the Texian ghosts with the flaming swords who appear at the very end of your epic to stop the soldados from destroying the Alamo church. Heckuva finish.
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Post by Greg C. on Oct 20, 2007 10:56:06 GMT -5
Good idea. I basically can copy and paste sections of my book for the poem if i wanted to be lazy...
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Post by Greg C. on Oct 25, 2007 16:16:28 GMT -5
Ive finished all the poem and it is 4 and a half written pages front and back. Typed out, it should be longer then the maximum but she said she doesnt mind if it is longer. Now we can illustrate it if we want, so I will draw a map to give her an idea of how big the place was. This is the first school project i have actually enhjoyed!
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Post by neferetus on Oct 25, 2007 16:18:20 GMT -5
Can you add some of your own photos from your trip?
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Post by Greg C. on Oct 25, 2007 16:26:10 GMT -5
Can you add some of your own photos from your trip? I can if I want but I think I will stick to a few famous portraits and my own drawing of the map.
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Post by Greg C. on Oct 25, 2007 16:28:59 GMT -5
The only thing I dislike was having to shorten up scenes or totoally omit information that would be crucial in say, a book. Some of the heroic events are made up (like Crockett killing 5 indians on his way to San Antone) but I guess it makes it entertaining. Another thing was "Wind Kicked Up". I hate to steal that line but I just couldnt resist.
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Post by neferetus on Nov 3, 2007 21:07:26 GMT -5
When will you be posting the poem?
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Post by Greg C. on Nov 3, 2007 21:30:15 GMT -5
Like I said earlier, I took some things from the Alamo movie to add effect and had I had more space i would have made it longer, but the max was 5 pages....
Part One The journey from the backwoods of Tennessee to the sweeping plains of Texas had been a long and perilous one, but nothing could stop David Crockett from reaching San Antonio. His horse galloped in the dusty Texas soil when he heard the sound of horses behind him. He turned around to see five Apache Indians chasing after him. Crockett upon seeing this, put the horse’s reins in his teeth, grabbed his rifle and killed one of the Apaches. He then pulled out a pistol and killed another one. He did all this while trying to gallop away from them. Finally, his horse tired and he had to slow up. So he jumped off it, pulled out a hunting knife and charged towards the three remaining Indians. Two of them rode away in shock, but the third stayed and fought Crockett knife to knife, where the Apache then met his death.
After the fight, Crockett rode into San Antonio where he saw people heading into a fortress-converted-church called the Alamo. He then met with the commander of the fort, Colonel William Travis and the co-commander, knife fighting legend James Bowie. They informed him that General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna’s Mexican army was headed for the Alamo and would stop at nothing to stop the rebellion, which included allowing his soldiers two days of rape and pillage in the nearby town of Zacatecas. Twelve years earlier, American settlers moved to Texas after getting an invitation from the Mexican government. The land was vast and cheap and the Americans couldn’t resist. It became a paradise for those who wanted a fresh start in life. Then, the government fell apart and Santa Anna rose to power, naming himself dictator of Mexico and stripped the Texans of their rights.
Fearing an attack by the Mexican army, Colonel Travis ordered all of his men and the townspeople of San Antonio to fall back into the Alamo. In a matter of a few hours everyone was inside except for a messenger who waited in the bell tower of the San Fernando Cathedral to signal when the Mexican army approached. Finally, the bell signal they had waited for sounded and in a matter of minutes the army had completely surrounded the Alamo fort. Before any attack, Santa Anna sent a messenger to the gate of the Alamo offering terms of surrender. But they were too vague for the Texans to accept because the note only read, “Surrender at discretion”. Colonel Travis then ordered that a cannon be fired as the answer to the message. The siege would soon begin, as Santa Anna had his men place over one hundred cannons around the fort.
At dusk, music started to play from the Mexican camp. Crockett unknowing what tune it was that they were playing said, “That it was nice of the Mexican army to provide a lullaby while they slept”. Travis then told Crockett that it was no lullaby and it was actually a Spanish Cavalry march called El Deguello which translated meant “slit throat”. It was usually played every time they went to battle. Now they looked toward the bell tower of the San Fernando Cathedral and saw the Mexican soldiers raise a red flag which meant “no mercy to the traitors.” Then a cannon shot rang out and the cannon ball soared into the middle of the fort’s plaza which exploded and sent shrapnel bouncing off the walls. During the night, hundreds of shots were fired weakening the strong adobe walls. Later on the second day of the siege, Commander Travis sent out a messenger named James Bonham to General Sam Houston and Colonel James Fannin asking for help and informing them of the situation which was that the Mexican army had roughly four thousand troops and the Texans had only one hundred and eighty five.
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Post by Greg C. on Nov 3, 2007 21:31:09 GMT -5
Part Two During the long days, the men passed the time by fixing the walls that were bombarded on a nightly basis, and that was how it went every day of the siege. Cannon fire all night, fixing the walls in the morning, and sleeping in the afternoon. When they weren’t busy, Crockett told stories and reminisced of the good old days back in Tennessee. Most of the stories were humorous and taught morals but the one he told on the eighth night of the siege was much more grim. Men gathered around the campfire to eat their dinner which consisted of boiled grits. Crockett told a story of the only real battle he ever fought in, “You know men, I reckon there really was only one real scrap I ever fought in my real life. Back twenty some odd years ago during the Creek Injun war, my men and I was chasin’ a Crick war party that has massacred women and children early that year. We finally caught up to ‘em in a cabin, which they looked to seek refuge in. One Indian opened the door and we shot him dead. Then we set the cabin on fire. We heard then screaming and chanting for their Gods in there. When the smoke had cleared and we sifted through the ashes, we found a kettle of grits. The heat of the burning bodies had cooked the grits inside the pot and we ate them ‘til we were stuffed. Ever since that day, eighteen years ago, I’ve never eaten grits again.” When he finished the story, he passed his bowl of grits to another soldier.
The men of the Alamo also got bad news that night, the co-commander and knife-fighting legend James Bowie was ill with a form of pneumonia. He couldn’t stand or even sit up. He lay down, barely conscious unable to eat or drink. His slave Sam watched over him, keeping him from burning up with fever. The siege had just gotten more difficult.
During the next two days of the siege, the Mexican Army’s bombardment had slowed up. The good part was that the Texans could get more rest, the bad was that when cannon fire stopped in a siege, that usually meant a final assault was coming. Days of doing nothing bored Crockett so he pulled out his fiddle, climbed to the top of the wall and started playing an upbeat tune. All the men gathered around to watch and Irishman John Macgregor joined in with his bagpipes. While they were playing, a cannon shot rang out and the men braced for more, but there wasn’t, the Mexican army was taunting them.
Crockett, angrily grabbed his rifle and walked over to the west wall which faced the town. There he could see an officer on a white horse who was observing the scene. Santa Anna fearlessly rode of fifty feet as if he was daring Crockett to shoot him, Crockett was up to the challenge. A few soldiers gathered around to watch. He carefully aimed his rifle, which never missed, at Santa Anna. He squeezed the trigger, the gun went off and Santa Anna’s hat flew off his head. Crockett shook his head and chuckled. He turned around smiling and said, “wind kicked up”. Then he winked and walked back to his position at the south wall.
It was now the twelfth day of the siege and the men were growing weak. Food and morale was running low and Colonel Travis was still waiting to hear from James Bonham. Gun shots then rang out and the men looked to see what it was. And it was Bonham galloping away from the Mexican cavalry. The gates opened and Bonham rode inside. He jumped right off his horse and went right to Travis’ headquarters. There he told them that no help would be coming from Houston or Fannin. Travis, although upset at the news, was proud of Bonham for returning back to almost certain doom. Now it was time to inform the men. He told Crockett to have them assembled in front of the Alamo church.
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Post by Greg C. on Nov 3, 2007 21:31:39 GMT -5
Part three Travis faced the long line of men with a look of sadness on his face. He then spoke to them only as a South Carolina lawyer knew how, “Men of the Alamo, for the last eleven days we have been waiting for an answer, we have been waiting for re-enforcements to come. I have just received that answer. Fannin will not be coming because of supply train issues, and Houston can’t up because he is to busy building the army of Texas. If we fight, we shall be fighting alone. But what reasons have you to stay? Where do you want to build your homes for your families and generations to come? The answer is Texas! We may not be in agreement on some of the things we are fighting for, and for that reason you have a choice…”
Travis pulled the sword from his scabbard and drew a line in the sand. He continued, “I have drawn this line now. Those who wish to leave and save themselves may do so under the cover of darkness. But those who wish to stay here in the Alamo with me, and fight to the death, cross this line and stand next to me.” The men looked around at each other, they were literally about to make the decision of their lives. The one man crossed the line and said, “Well, what are you waiting for?” jokingly. The more men crossed. Crockett had still remained undecided. But then he walked up Travis and the men that had crossed and said, “Santa Anna marched up here through three hundred miles of snow. I reckon the least I can do is oblige him and give him one hell of a fight! Let’s see if the Napoleon of the west can beat the Lion of the west. He wants our heads on a silver platter, I say come and get ‘em!” They cheered for Crockett who had crossed the line. Only one man did not cross the line, and that was James Bowie. He lay in a stretcher and had his men carry him across.
On the twelfth night of the siege, the men had a feeling that the battle was imminent on the next day. At around midnight, Crockett went up to Bowie’s room. He sat next to the legend who was conscious and able to sit up. Crockett said to him, “Jim, I’m famous for a lot of things. However, most of those things are made up. I never grinned down a bear wrestled with an alligator, and believe it or not I cant catch a cannonball or ride a lightnin’ bolt…” Bowie laughed. “Jim, you’re famous for one thing, that knife of yourn. Did you really get into that fight on the sandbar in Mississippi?” Crockett asked. Bowie leaned over and told him the story, “Yessir, I was walking home along a sandbar when I was approached by a few guys, One of them shot me in the arm, and the other got me in the lung. So I shot one with my pistol and ran after the others. I slit the guy’s throat so hard I nearly took his head off. And when I caught up with the last guy I was so angry I cut out his heart and fed it to the gulls…” When Bowie finished the story, Crockett handed him two pistols and his knife. They said good night, fearing it would be the last time them saw one another. Crockett sat down at his position by the south wall. He and a friend told stories of the good old days until they drifted to sleep.
Meanwhile, at the Mexican camp, Santa Anna made his battle plans. His Generals wanted to wait longer and starve the Texans out but Santa Anna showed his bloodthirstiness by demanding an attack that morning. General Cos and Colonels Duque and Morales were given their orders and assembled their men.
It was now four o’clock in the morning and Santa Anna’s troops were ready. Three thousand men were assembled so that each wall was attacked by a massive amount of troops. One thousand men were kept in reserve. The Texans, not knowing of the attack slept soundly for the first time in nights. In twenty minutes the troops were in firing range, they crept quietly and slowly looking like monsters in the darkness. Then an overly anxious soldier screamed out, “Viva Santa Anna! Viva Mexico!” which riled up the troops and under no orders, they charged the walls.
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Post by Greg C. on Nov 3, 2007 21:32:09 GMT -5
Part four
The Texans sprang up and ran to their posts. They grabbed rifles, ammunition, knives, axes and ran into position. Crockett was now up and was the first to fire. Since he was the most accurate shot, he had two men stand behind him constantly reloading his rifles. There was darkness and confusion but the Texans stood firm. The Mexicans lines were thick, so it was hard to miss.
A half hour had passed with the Texans still holding firm. Santa Anna grew impatient and couldn’t understand why his troops hadn’t broken through the walls yet so he sent his one thousand reserve troops into battle. They charged the walls and ladders sprung up by the hundreds. The soldiers were shot at, hacked, and stabbed as they climbed the ladders but it was too much for the Texans to handle on the north wall. Travis fired hiss hot gun one last time, and as he reloaded a musket ball ripped into his forehead and he fell onto the wall dead. The rest of the men on the north wall fell back into the long barracks. They were well protected in the individual rooms and once again, held their ground.
All was going well in the long barracks until the Mexican soldiers turned the Texans’ own cannons around and fired them into the barracks. Shrapnel bounced around inside them and the survivors tried to surrender but were bayoneted by the soldiers who stuck to their officer’s orders of no mercy. At the south wall, Crockett and his men were standing firm and weren’t flustered at all. Then bullets started coming from the other direction so they ran into the Alamo church pulling crates and wood in front of the doorway for protection and waited for an attack.
Before Crockett’s men were attacked, the Mexican soldiers found Bowie’s room. They knocked down the door and rushed into it. Bowie fired his two pistols killing two soldiers. He then grabbed his knife but couldn’t act fast enough as he was bayoneted in the chest by thirty soldiers and died shortly after.
A cannon shot then knocked down the protection in front of the door of the Alamo church. Mexican soldiers poured in and the Texans fired the last bullets they had. Crocket was out of ammo now so he charged into the group of soldiers swinging his rifle. The first swing was on the head of a soldier causing the rifle barrel to crack. The next swing caused it to break and sent splinters into the air. He threw down the broken rifle and pulled out a hunting knife and stabbed it through the neck of a soldier, ripped it out and stabbed another through the collar bone. Then he was hit on the head with a rifle butt and he fell to the ground. Blood dripping from his forehead, he looked up and saw a bayonet coming towards him, and the hero’s life came to an end.
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Post by Greg C. on Nov 3, 2007 21:32:28 GMT -5
Part five
In ninety minutes, the battle had ended and every Texan soldier lay dead. They lay on the walls with the adobe stained red, on the ground, and in the trenches. They lay dead after making a valiant last stand. Santa Anna entered the compound and announced that, “it was but a small affair”. He ordered the bodies be burnt in large pyres. As his commanders walked through the carnage one remarked, “one more small affair as this and we will all be dead”. He was right, the Texans had killed six hundred soldiers in an hour and a half, which was a crippling blow to the Mexican army.
Just a month later, under the battle cry of “Remember the Alamo” the Texans under the command of General San Houston defeated the Mexican army at San Jacinto. Santa Anna surrendered Texas to Houston and their independence was won. Twelve years later, Texas became a part of the United States, something that would not have been possible if it wasn’t for the heroes of the Alamo.
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Post by Greg C. on Nov 5, 2007 7:06:01 GMT -5
So what did ya'll think?
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Post by neferetus on Nov 5, 2007 10:44:54 GMT -5
It's certainly a lengthy piece, on the epic scale. You must've put a lot of effort into it. Did anyone else in your class come up with anything even half as long? Your love and knowledge of the subject is certainly evident here.
If you'd broken it down into short verses though, say using each line as a line in the verse, you could've made it a lot shorter.
For instance:
The journey from the backwoods of Tennessee To the sweeping plains of Texas Had been a long and perilous one. But nothing could stop David Crockett From reaching San Antonio.
His horse galloped in the dusty Texas soil When he heard the sound of horses behind him. He turned around to see five Apache Indians Chasing after him. Crockett upon seeing this,
Put the horse’s reins in his teeth, Grabbed his rifle And killed one of the Apaches. He then pulled out a pistol And killed another one.
He did all this while trying To gallop away from them. Finally, his horse tired and He had to slow up. So he jumped off it,
Pulled out a hunting knife And charged towards the three remaining Indians. Two of them rode away in shock, But the third stayed and fought Crockett knife to knife, where the Apache then met his death.
I did notice that you used a lot of creative license in telling the tale. (Crockett and the Indians, Bowie and his sandbar fight, etc.) Sort of creating your own Alamo legends, yes? At any rate, the characters certainly do come across as 'bigger than life'.
When will you be getting your grade on the poem?Does your teacher ever put any comments in the margin?
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RebAl
Senior Member
Civil War Photographer
Posts: 296
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Post by RebAl on Nov 5, 2007 11:43:41 GMT -5
Scotsman!
Excellent story I enjoyed reading it.
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Post by seguin on Nov 5, 2007 15:04:36 GMT -5
Great story, Greg! Very well written! I too enjoyed it! You should get a good grade in school for this piece! Well done!
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Post by Greg C. on Nov 5, 2007 16:04:44 GMT -5
Nef, the story had to be 2-4 pages long but she said it was okay if we made it longer. I even cut parts out to get it to the five pages it came out to be. As for the creative licensing, since it was a piece for school, I stayed away from being historically accurate and went for the "juice", for lack of a better term. I'm glad you guys liked it and I'm sorry for the "scotsman" mess up.
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