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Post by Bromhead24 on Dec 29, 2007 15:02:29 GMT -5
1>> IDIOT SIGHTING: >> We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us >> that >> one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor >> on the >> opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one >> Sears >> made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, >> "Lady, you >> need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He >> said, >> "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.." >> We haven't used Sears repair since. >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING >> My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I >> gave >> the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a >> quarter. >> She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but >> this way >> you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to >> get the >> manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed >> me back >> the quarter, and said I owed $4.25 and he was sorry but they could >> not do that kind of >> thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in >> change. >> Do not confuse the clerks at McD's. >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING: >> I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the >> local >> township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER >> CROSSING >> sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars >> out >> here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing >> anymore." >> From Kingman , KS >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE: >> My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked >> the >> perso n behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was >> sorry, >> but they only had iceberg lettuce. >> From Kansas City >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING: >> I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport >> employee >> asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your >> knowledge?" To >> which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" >> He >> smiled knowingly and nodded, >> "That's why we ask." >> Happened in Birmingham , Ala. >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING: >> The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the >> street. I >> was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She >> asked >> if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind >> people >> when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are >> blind >> people doing driving?!" >> She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING: >> At a good-bye luncheon for a n old and dear coworker. She was >> leaving the >> company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This >> is >> fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We >> all >> just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. >> This was a lunch at Texas Instruments. >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING: >> I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into >> itself and >> for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would >> not turn >> on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less. >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING: >> When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up >> our >> car, we were tol d the keys had been locked in it. We went to the >> service >> department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the >> drivers >> side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively >> tried the >> door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced >> to the >> technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that >> side." >> This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi >> >> STAY ALERT! >> They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE , THEY >> DRIVE and >> they REPRODUCE
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Post by neferetus on Dec 29, 2007 15:21:24 GMT -5
Pretty funny, Mike, but also pretty scary. Thanks for sharing. Here's an actual hospital room experience. A man was in the waiting room for his scheduled appointment with his doctor. The place was packed. He waited and waited until it seemed that everyone in the room had been called by the nurse, except him. Exasperrated by the lack of service, he went to the window to inquire as to why he hadn't been called yet. "Are you here to see the doctor?" the nurse asked rather innocently. "Yes, I'm here to see the doctor," the man replied, fit to be tied. "What do you suppose I came here for, my health?" The man stopped and thought about what he had just said. Then, he laughed. The nurse laughed too. Calmed down, the man finally saw the doctor and left in good spirits. Oh yeah, that man was me.
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Post by seguin on Dec 29, 2007 20:32:56 GMT -5
Very funny stories - except for Nef´s doctors story! I think we all have had our fair share of "funny" episodes at doctors and hospitals...
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Post by neferetus on Dec 29, 2007 23:48:49 GMT -5
Very funny stories - except for Nef´s doctors story! I think we all have had our fair share of "funny" episodes at doctors and hospitals... Well, it seems funny, in retrospect. Perhaps Reader's Digest might like it.
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Post by Cole_blooded on Dec 30, 2007 0:29:17 GMT -5
..........Or MAD TV! ;D TED COLE....aka....Cole_blooded
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Post by Bromhead24 on Jan 2, 2008 10:01:58 GMT -5
This is not quite an idiot sighting but i think it's close enough. Math 1950-2007 Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Answer: Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s 1. Teaching Math In 1950 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 2. Teaching Math In 1960 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? -------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. Teaching Math In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit? ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 4. Teaching Math In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. ----------------------------------------------------------- 5, Teaching Math In 1990 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. ) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 6. Teaching Math In 2007 Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho? ;D ;D ;D
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Post by gtj222 on Jan 2, 2008 11:03:50 GMT -5
That is Really good! Very funny
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Post by neferetus on Jan 2, 2008 11:16:42 GMT -5
That is Really good! Very funny It would be even funnier if it were not true.
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Post by Bromhead24 on Feb 14, 2008 13:20:06 GMT -5
Idiots at work: I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
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Post by Bromhead24 on Feb 14, 2008 13:20:55 GMT -5
Idiots in the neighborhood: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by Cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
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Post by Bromhead24 on Feb 14, 2008 13:21:21 GMT -5
Idiot sighting #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
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Post by Bromhead24 on Feb 14, 2008 13:21:41 GMT -5
Idiot sighting #2: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to 'downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "this is fun!. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
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Post by Bromhead24 on Feb 14, 2008 13:22:03 GMT -5
Idiot sighting #3: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." One of my friend once had his photos taken at a local photo shop. the next day he went to pick them up but the person at the desk refused to give him his photos without the purchase slip and the photos themselves were not enough to convince him that it was actually the right person wanting his photos back.
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Post by Bromhead24 on Feb 14, 2008 13:22:24 GMT -5
Idiot sighting #4: I had been Christmas shopping. It was past 9 PM, most of the stores had closed and I was tired and hungry. I came across one of the better-known fast food chain restaurants which was still open, but was about to close in 15 minutes. I hurried in and saw, to my dismay, that while the counter and dining room areas were still lit, the entire kitchen area was dark and very empty. I asked the counter girl if I could still get something to eat. She answered that although she couldn't cook me anything, they did have some hamburgers in the warmer. I ordered two hamburgers, plain. The girl grabbed her microphone and said to nobody, "Two Hamburgers, please, plain." Then she walked around to the dark and empty kitchen, took two hamburgers out of the warmer, walked back to the counter and served them to me.
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Post by Bromhead24 on Feb 14, 2008 13:22:42 GMT -5
Idiot sighting #5: Here's one that happened to me a few years ago. I went to a clothing store and bought a skirt for $7. With tax my total came to $7.51; I handed the cashier $8.01 and she had to take out a calculator to figure out how much change she had to give me back. I told her she owed me 50 cents.
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Post by Bromhead24 on Feb 14, 2008 13:23:03 GMT -5
Idiot sighting #6: When I was a boy, we were visiting some friends. Lunch time came around and offered to make us sandwiches. When I asked what kind of sandwiches, I was told bologna, tuna, or peanut butter and jelly. I said I wanted just peanut butter on my sandwich, no jelly. I was promptly told I couldn't have that because they had no peanut butter.
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Post by Bromhead24 on Feb 14, 2008 13:23:24 GMT -5
Idiots at work: I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched. Idiots in the neighborhood: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by Cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. Idiot sighting #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Idiot sighting #2: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to 'downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "this is fun!. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. Idiot sighting #3: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." One of my friend once had his photos taken at a local photo shop. the next day he went to pick them up but the person at the desk refused to give him his photos without the purchase slip and the photos themselves were not enough to convince him that it was actually the right person wanting his photos back. Idiot sighting #4: I had been Christmas shopping. It was past 9 PM, most of the stores had closed and I was tired and hungry. I came across one of the better-known fast food chain restaurants which was still open, but was about to close in 15 minutes. I hurried in and saw, to my dismay, that while the counter and dining room areas were still lit, the entire kitchen area was dark and very empty. I asked the counter girl if I could still get something to eat. She answered that although she couldn't cook me anything, they did have some hamburgers in the warmer. I ordered two hamburgers, plain. The girl grabbed her microphone and said to nobody, "Two Hamburgers, please, plain." Then she walked around to the dark and empty kitchen, took two hamburgers out of the warmer, walked back to the counter and served them to me. Idiot sighting #5: Here's one that happened to me a few years ago. I went to a clothing store and bought a skirt for $7. With tax my total came to $7.51; I handed the cashier $8.01 and she had to take out a calculator to figure out how much change she had to give me back. I told her she owed me 50 cents. Idiot sighting #6: When I was a boy, we were visiting some friends. Lunch time came around and offered to make us sandwiches. When I asked what kind of sandwiches, I was told bologna, tuna, or peanut butter and jelly. I said I wanted just peanut butter on my sandwich, no jelly. I was promptly told I couldn't have that because they had no peanut butter. Idiot sightng #7: One of the requirements of borrowing money from the bank I was working at was to confirm the income of the individual either by way of pay stub or a letter from your employer. A young fellow came in one day and told me he wanted to borrow some money but he was training to be a professional WWF-like wrestler so didn't have a steady stream of income. I asked him to get a letter drawn up confirming the amount and return to the bank as soon as possible. He wasn't clear on this so I told him he needed a piece of paper from his employer, saying how much money he makes, and it should have letterhead at the top of the page. Well, the next day he did return, with a letter done up in his own hand writing, saying "I, John Smith, make $1000 a month", and the word "Letterhead" clearly hand printed at the top of the page.
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Post by Bromhead24 on Feb 14, 2008 13:24:04 GMT -5
Idiot sighting #8: I work in a small town in Mississippi, right across the state line from Memphis, TN. At lunch one day, I was at Sonic and when the man asked for my order over the intercom, I told him that I wanted a BLT with cheese, no mayo. To which he promptly asked, "Would you like Lettuce and Tomato?"
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Post by Bromhead24 on Feb 14, 2008 13:24:30 GMT -5
Idiot sighting #9: I work as a demo in a large warehouse store. We serve people food samples. These are a few of the idiot questions I have heard. I was baking some small burritos and a man was standing their watching me take the burritos out of the OVEN when he asked me "did you deep fry these or did you bake them"!!!! duhhh!! What do you think? Many times people will watch you take items out of a very hot bubbling skillet and place it on the serving tray and they will pick it up and put it in their mouth and scream "oh this is hot"!!! We even have signs at every table saying: CAUTION the sample we are serving may be hot. AND THIS IS MY FAVORITE!!! We always have a sign taped to the front of each and every table that describes the item we are serving, and we always put the box or bag on top of the table or taped to a small oven or microwave at eye level and I would say 8 out of 10 people will ask, after they have put the sample in their mouth, "what am I eating".
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Post by Bromhead24 on Feb 14, 2008 13:24:59 GMT -5
Idiot sighting #10: I worked at a local fast-food restaurant and had a co- worker named Amber. Once I asked her to take out the trash. She replied that she couldn't. When I asked why she stated that "it's too heavy. I might get a 'hemorrhoid'." Another time I asked her to help me cut up lemons and limes for the drinks. She replied that she would rather not. When I asked why she said that lemons and limes make her cry? "Lemons and limes make you cry?" I asked in disbelef. "Well, onions do!" was her answer. This girl had so many 'episodes' like this we now call them "Amberisms".
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